Saturday, 26 February 2011


adakah yang salah dengan perasaan?

apakah dengan kepada siapakah perasaan itu tertuju maka ia menjadi salah?

ataukah seberapa besarnya perasaan itu yang jadi masalah?

kenapa seringkali kamu menyalahkan perasaan orang lain atas perasaanmu sendiri?

begitu takutnyakah kamu atas sesuatu yang abstrak?

takutlah dengan perasaanmu sendiri wahai kawan

biarkan orang lain dengan perasaannya, dan kamu dengan perasaanmu

pedulikan mereka yang peduli terhadap perasaanmu

jangan usik mereka yang perasaannya tidak berhubungan denganmu

biarlah perasaan itu tumbuh, bersambut, dan putus dengan sendirinya

For You, the one I call ... Whatever

Your figure is the most precious image my eyes could capture.
Your smell is the best scent my olfactory sense could feel.
The touch of your skin to mine is like my blanket wrapping me so warm.
Your voice is just like a song resounding and always be good listening.

I am so intense. You are above angel. I can hide or run, for as you come, you bring so much bliss. You open the locked door, you give heat to the icy cold, and you stay there for long.

You, I don't know who you are, what you are, I want to walk another day with you, as... whatever.

*while listening to D'Cinnamons, Loving You.

9 am. Total Bliss.


Unlike the previous post sharing my insecurities, this morning I feel so good that I write another post.
Although my dream was so utterly weird that I felt that I was actually in it and made me tremble right at the time of waking up, the shadow of someone abruptly distracted my thought and suddenly gave me the energy of today. Yes, I love how it feels. No one can ruin my mood of today. Yay!

Sunday, 13 February 2011

This Morning. 11 am. Clueless and Random

Here we go again.
Long time no write, huh? Miss me? You better not. I'm not worth missing.

So, let's talk about the weather first. It's mildly hot outside and I'm too lazy to move my ass off. I'm just stiffly sitting in front of my laptop, seeking things to get inspired. Yes, get inspired.
(Sometimes I feel so tired writing English, but I got to, I want to)

I bumped into my deviantart account, and found this superbly interesting account. His name is Agan Harahap. I dont know much about him, thing I do is that he is a great artist. His works are extraordinary yet mystically beautiful. He likes to manipulate historical pictures, but he did it excelently. So, I try to find out whether he has another social networking account, and bingo! I got his facebook account and immediately sent friend request. I'm really looking forward to being friend with him. And another thing, he happens in relationship with c.u.t.s's vox, teh itta. My, teh itta, you're a lucky bitch having kang agan as your boyfriend. Wanna share him, teh? In case he bores you? Yes, you will not do that. I wont if I were you. hahaha

Enough for the crap.
I want to write a brief of my thought this morning. At first, I wanted to post it in my Tumblr account, but maybe better if I throw it in this blog. People dont notice too much, so this blog probably is the last thing people will bump into. hahaha

Okay, this morning, oh no, maybe since last night, I'm officially insecure. What makes me so? I'm not quite sure. Maybe it has something to do with my self. I feel so useless sometimes, err, maybe most of the time. Useless because I'm lazy. I'm lazy. I'm too lazy to even care about my self. It's like I'm giving up. But I dont want to. I really want to WANT. Wanting something worth. Worth to die for, worth to pursue, worth it all.

I want something to pursue. I'm lazy to want it. I dont know what to do. I keep telling my self to keep going. I feel my brain is getting rot, and I cannot feel anything. I easily forget something. I procrastinate. I'm tired and exhausted.

I have nothing to hold on to. God, please help me... I'm so out of place.